i can't say i don't miss you with every fiber of my being.
i can't say i don't miss the times we had, when all we did was laugh.
i can't say i don't miss how i felt free to do anything i wanted to when i was around you.
i can't say i don't miss talking to you at 3 am when we both should be sleeping.
i can't say i don't miss the way i felt safe with you.
i can't say i don't miss being able to talk to you about anything.
i can't say i don't miss having someone who does everything to protect and help me.
i can't say our friendship isn't the only positive thing about looking back to these past years.
i can't say that you weren't the only one who kept me going.
i can't say i don't regret treating you the way i did and ruining our friendship.
i can't say that you don't have any power over me anymore.
but i can say that i learned from my mistakes.
i can say that only having you for all these years was extremely unhealthy.
i can say that i absolutely hated the feeling of being completely dependent on you.
i can say that i hated and still hate that that's exactly how you wanted me to be.
i can say that so many times you used that against me and i will never forgive you for that.
i can say that you made many mistakes too, just like i did.
i can say that the way you replaced me so easily shows how much you really cared all along.
but all that being said i still want to scream out that i miss you even though it's so wrong.